DOJ 6th of June

I received a confirmation of my DOJ (Date of Joining) to Emirates - it's 6th of June! I completed all the forms on the candidates portal I've been given an access to, and now I'm waiting for the final approval. My medicals still haven't been ticked, but I don't worry about it - all of my medical results are excellent.
Here is how the portal  looks like at this point:

As you can see, at the top of the page it counts down days left to the joining date, and that's pretty cool :-)

Even though I was doing all the required medical tests, I filled out the forms & uploaded all the documents, I think I will reject the offer after all... I think I already made the decision, I just cannot admit it to myslef yet..
It is hard, I must say. This great opportunity and I'm gonna let it go, just like that..
But, I think this grown-up part of me became somehow superior to this fun part. Life is all about making choices, and I believe I chose wisely. I think there will be times I'll regret it, thinking to myself 'how would it be out there?' ' what place on earth I would b that specific moment?' My career at the moment is on the right track. At least, I like it where it is. My job is good and I enjoy it. It gives me a lot of opportunities to grow my potential and develop. Maybe this year gap is not significant that much, but it would be pretty stressful for me coming back to work after this period. What is more, there is a chance I will be promoted this year, and if I knew for sure, I wouldn't go to Dubai. I don't know it, but as a professional, I should think myslef as I already got promoted.

I enjoy travelling. A lot. I can save some money and spend it on travels, once a year. This will be my reward for this wise and mature choice :-)

Growing up is hard.

I finally received again and picked up a call from Dubai on March, 26th. The lady on the phone was really nice, congratulated me and all that formal talking came after. I think they are kind of in need of the cabin crew right now, that's the cause of the recruitment days being held quite often lately all around the world. Although I put June as the earliest day of joining on the form, the lady asked me if it's possible for me to join in May. I said that, unfortunately, I couldn't, and she replied that actually that's not a problem and they would contact me again in 2-3 weeks with DOJ confirmation. It's been 2 weeks passing now, and I'm expecting getting some news soon.

I've been moving back and forth with this whole decision again... It's all because I want to have a baby so much, and I am very afraid of troubles in getting pregnant. Personally, I know 3 couples who are struggling to have a baby and not to mention all these couples I heard about from my friends, friends of their friends and relatives...
On the other hand, my husband is quite chary about the idea of having a baby soon. We'd wait another year or so, eventually. Me going to Dubai would postpone the "venture" for just a year, so that's not that log after all.
And the job thing. I am going to talk straight about my plans with my boss, and check out if my return to work would be possible after Big Emirates Adventure ends. I hope there would be no problems.. If there were, I would reconsider decision once more.

All of this vacillating led to intensifying my thoughts about how growing up sucks. It does, believe me. Now, as a "grown-up", with two college degrees, decent serious job, a husband and a family to-be-started, you have to think about and plan your future. And not just yours - of your family too. I realized that the part of me already got used to that fact, and deep down even enjoys it. However, the other part, this crazy and fun part of me, still wants to do stupid and crazy things, travel all over the world and not to think about the future very often - because it'll all work out, won't it? I still didn't find a balance between these two parts of myself :-( Is there any way of figuring that out?